Ugg

12/365: Out sick
Originally uploaded by Blueeyes24

I haven't been feeling well. I missed school today and I'm overwhelmed in general, so it's been difficult to keep on my schedule.

I feel very guilty - I had a high school teacher who once said to me "oh, so you want to be a writer. Well, let me ask you this: do you write daily? Do you write obsessively? Do you write when you're sick? Well, if you don't, you're not a writer."

That tidbit has stuck with me for the past 20 years and it's because of that comment that for 19 years, I did not view myself as "a writer". However, as I've gotten older, I've grown to realize that writing is not as cut and dry as people try and make you believe. Writing is difficult, it's petulant, it's submissive, and it's enlightening.

Most of all, it's not what one high school teacher determined it to be 20 years ago. It's what it is. Period.

Just because I'm not writing, doesn't mean I'm not thinking. And I'm usually thinking about writing. Actually, I'm always thinking about writing.

So, if I don't pump out more pages, that doesn't mean there aren't more pages in me. If I don't write on a strict schedule, well, that just means that I don't have that luxury because instead, I have a 2 hour daily commute, a wedding to plan, 3500 papers to grade each quarter, 20 pages of lesson plans to write every two weeks, a fiance to spend time with, a cat to take care of, groceries to buy, nails to maintain, patio furniture to purchase, local foods to source out, friends to keep in contact with, a family to keep in touch with, a house to keep clean, a self to keep healthy... and the list goes on.

Just because I'm not writing, doesn't mean I'm not a writer.